Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
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11:00 pm
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What an iiiiiinterestng and awesome weekend. :)
Vodka and Rum are my new best friends...especially when one of them is mixed with soda. <3
current mood:  happy
current music: ... mana ma na...
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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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1:48 am
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...this is kinda sappy...
...well...one option is gone...let's hope the other one doesnt dissapear too...
...as i sit here staring mindlessly at a certain someone's guitar pick... :\
current mood:  sick
current music: 311- Stealing Happy Hours
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Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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10:44 pm
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....what an awesome end of the semester...thanks to someone in particular... ;)
An important lesson learned during the Spring '05 semester:
~Drunk is a good thing...
~But trying to walk up a skate ramp while drunk is not a good idea...
~Beer pong is awesome...
~Pretzels are good whe you have the munchies...cept they're not easy to eat...
~Drawing while drunk makes ya draw swirly things... :D
~Jen needs to dorm...a.s.a.p...
current mood:  hungry
current music: Motley Crue- Kickstart My Heart
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Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
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5:21 pm
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After another night of hell...it still continues. I spent last night clinging to a bass drum crying...until my dad pulled it away and threw it in the car...
I can barely make it through classes...i'm so stressed...and i def need sleep.
Enough is enough already...if it's over, then it's over... i just don't understand why the f*ck my dad has to destroy everything in his path. Just take your stuff and go...stop involving me and blaming me for drama that i didn't cause... see how much he likes living in my grandmas house...nothing but eat/sleep/cook/read/clean and watch reality TV...yea aint that an exciting life...
The bad thing is that i have the gut feeling that i' going to have to sell the animator's desk... so here i finally get something i wanted fr YEARS..and i have to sell it off...
The Steve Vai concert was tonight. The two people i hoped to go with couldnt make it, but i could easily have foun someone at school to go. But i'm too scared. To scared to leave the house for that long while my dad is on this breaking shit rampage...All that time i spent during Spring Break painting is a total waste now...but i think even if i dd go i'd start crying as soon as someone stated to play drums...I stil have my guitar...the Jem is safe, i hope...
Now i get to go out to dinner with the whole family, yes...the psycho too. Time to do what everyone else in this family does...put on an act so that the rest of the world thinks everything is ok...this should be ineresting to say the least.. :(
current mood: sick
current music: Motley Crue- Enslaved
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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4:00 am
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It's 1995 all over again...except this time i'm older and directly involved. The last time my dad blew up like this in '95 i was already asleep when i woke up from the sounds of my parents screaming, stuff being thrown and then finally the brand new green Grand Am screeching off down the road. My dad didnt come back for a long time. The memories of that night are still crystal clear...
Now i don't know wtf started it this time. Well ok i take that back...i KNOW what started it...but i just dont understand why the fuck my dad is doing what he's doing!!! My animators desk from the former Disney Animation dept. in MGM Studios (yea the ones ya saw on that tour) is showing up tmrw afternoon. Ive been telling my dad for weeks now. Unfortunatly not enough space got cleared out as i hoped to have by now, but i have a good reason...i've been painting. My dad was already acting stupid last night when he went on a 1am vacuming spree. Today was just horrible. Nothing in his area of the basment needed to be moved in order for this desk to be put down there...only my things. But no....as a way to "punish" me for getting this desk he spent the whole night taking apart the drumset and tearing to shreds important papaers like my awards from gradeschool and even some songs he wrote back in the days of his bands. I was already stressed out...just seeing the drums apart made me feel upset...but then this happened....
Me:"What are you doing??"
Dad"......packing up the drums...for good..."
Me:" But why?? How am i supposed to learn if you're taking them away??"
Dad:"...well...time is up... you didn't learn it by now....you never will...you weren't any good at it anyway..."
....that killed me...i ran off in tears which still havent stopped....
Thes rest of the night i spent contemplating how life is gonna be if my dad truly leaves. It has its good points and bad points....but right now all i can think about is the bad. I hid my guitar just incase he decided to throw it...i'll have to check out the bass guitar tmrw because i heard that go flying. I don't understand any of this. Any other f*ckin parent in the world would be thrilled if their kid was crazy artistic. But my dad just ignores it....considers my art "clutter" and won't comment on my paintings except that i better "clean up real good cause i'm making the kitchen look like a mess". Wtf man....just wtf...I do give credit to my mom. Even though there are times when she can be just as crazy as my dad...she has never destroyed any of my artwork and always supports me.
I'm beyond f'd up right now...i keep getting chills/shakes, everything i eat makes me horribly nauseaous, i fell down the stairs twice cause my legs just gave out, knees hurt, headache/dizzyness, stuffed up to the point of not being able to breathe right, oh yea...and nosebleeds...funstuff.
...i found my hot pink drumsticks that were a present to me when i was 4...the tears just wont go away...
...i guess i'll attempt to sleep now...being that it's 4am and i have to be up for class at 7....IF i can sleep...
...i feel like the only sane person in this house...
current mood:  numb
current music: ...nothing...my dad stole my cds back...
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Sunday, March 20th, 2005
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3:36 pm
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Just a lil something.... :)
Me:
...oh oh oh....i remember more of that f'd up dream i had. Before we got to the information desk with the "sliding carpet escalators" Jess was sposed to be driving us on Rt 19 over here by the castle...but like...it was a roller coaster..way up in the air. She ended up going down a track that had oopses and bumps in it and the car jumped off...we all had rainbow colored parachutes tho so we floated down thru some cotton candy-ish stuff and landed in that information desk place...but i guess Jess got stuck in the cotton candy stuff cause she didnt show up after that...
Kathy:
LOL. you need to seek help. rehab for your imaginary drug addiction.
Me:
hahaha yea really...my imagination is like on acid or someting
Kathy:
definitely sounds like it
current mood:  creative
current music: Motley Crue- Livewire
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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
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11:29 pm
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Things Jen must save up money for...
~$500... Velvet Rope package to meet Aerosmith and hang out with them...(finally get the rest of my painting signed...and front row tix)
~$400... 1st row tickets to a Motley Crue show and hang out with the band and get tons of autographed stuffs...(Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx...oh dear gawd. <3 <3 <3)
$600ish... pink/black Ghostboard snowboard...have to get it before the season is up and the boards change designs...
...for a grand total of $1,500...
...waste of money?...to some, yes... to me...hell f*cking no!! :D
..time to sell artwork on ebay... i kno you all want some... :)
current mood: sick
current music: Motley Crue- Looks That Kill
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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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2:45 am
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...somehow i always end up at Six Brother's on Valentine's Day...at like 2 in the morning...hmm...odd...
current mood:  tired
current music: ...the same one as two seconds ago...
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2:42 am
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..this was sposed to be posted ON valentine's day...but ya know...my comp was being a pain about it as usual... :P
...i have to rant....at least just for a bit...
...Valentines day once again...and it still sucks. Maybe SOMEDAY i'll actually have someone to spend it with. It wouldnt be so bad if you werent constantly surrounded by all this happy/romantic valentines day crap.....and let me add to that people who brag about how wonderful their lives are cause they've just met the love of their life and nothing could be better (tho i doubt this applies to anybody who actually reads this....more like random people in school). Yea...please dont tell me that stuff...i already know i'm going to end up a cat lady...
...But anyways the real reason i need to rant...
....how much more depressing could these past few days be?!?!? wtf is up with that. The Valentine thing counts as one...but the next two are what really have been driving me insane....
...my mom's car died about a week or so ago. It COULD have been fixed...but my dad saw no point since it was a "piece of shit". The wagon had been sitting down at the repair place for days awaiting the tow truck. Just seeing it there everyday got me depressed. Me and my mom went to visit it when no one was around and i even snuck back there late at night to pull off all the names and logos that i could. I know i'm a dork but each time i went there i cried....oh look...here come the tears again... :\ I didnt know when theyd be taking the car away for good but today i drive by and it's gone...they go and take away something i absolutely loved on valentines day!!!
...and here's the final thing that's making me way too depressed.... i <3 ebay... and i looove getting old disneyworld stuff off of it. So i check this one ebay store that always has very rad stuff....and what do i see..... the ORIGINAL prisms that stood atop the fountain in front of Spaceship Earth!!!!!! ...to anybody else this must seem like i'm insane.... but i loved those crystals so f'n much. Ever since i saw them for the first time when i was 4 i wanted them so badly. (I have an odd attachment to inanimate objects...can ya tell??) I would cry every time we had to leave Epcot and those crystals were one fo the last things i would always look at. Okay so it's a nerdy kinda thing...but aside from the fact that it has the Epcot symbol on top (which i swear i WILL get tattooed)....it's just GORGEOUS... solid lucite. It's beyond depressing to see that disney just junked this thing and gave it away to sell on ebay. And now there's nothing on top of the fountain...and it just looks stupid. And now the auction is over and just ONE of the lucite pillars sold for almost $4,000. I couldnt pay for that if i tried. :'( SOMEDAY (when i have the money for it) i hope to track down those pieces and buy them from whoever has them. I need to have those....it all seems stupid...but i just do...
current mood: sleepy
current music: Led Zeppelin- Battle of Evermore
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Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
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12:39 am - :'(
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...R.I.P. 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser wagon...
... i <3 you and will miss you muchly!!!...especially sice i never got to drive you... :'(
::sniffle::
...i'm far too emotionally attached to my cars...i dunno what i'm gonna do when my Sunfire goes...
current mood: sad
current music: Q104.3-The Doors- "The End"... (how ironic)
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12:09 am - ...random quiz...
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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
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2:09 am - ...snowbunny for a day...
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Now i've been doing a "winter sport" since i was three years old.... yea i'm one of those lil kids that was shoved out on the ice in a spandex dress cuz my mom always wanted to be a figure skater. But anyways... i've finally tried out a whooooole different kind of winter thing..... SNOWBOARDING!!!!!
Yea i did technically go snowboarding about a year ago with Kathy in a park in Montclair. And yes that still counts!!!!Cause hat was craaazy! :) But that was just us in a rad lil park at night with some icy hills and a duck pond (ducks just make everything cool).
Sooo....yesterday (the 17th) was the first time ever i had even been anywhere NEAR a ski place. Since John works at Camelback i headed out there with him. I was freaking out... snowboarding on a mountain means :
1)bigger and longer hills
2)wind
3)snow making machines
4)going on lifts
5)MORE PEOPLE TO RUN INTO!!!!
We stayed on the bunny hills all night cuz there was no way in hell i was gonna be able to make it down any of the bigger ones without killing myself!! I managed to do the whole lift thing even tho i fell getting off a couple of times. Now if there was just a non bumpy mountain that was completely straight i'd be fine...cuz i can do that (most of the times. lol)...it's just the whole turning/getting the edges thing i gotta work on. I seem to like being yelled at! haha Someday i'll actually remember to get that heelside edge!!!! I loved falling...yea how weird am i? I was like somersaulting down the hill twisting in all these weird painful lookin ways. Didnt hurt tho! :D
We were out there for a couple hours which wasnt bad. It was just reaaaaaally f'n COLD!! Luckily the place wasnt too crowded considering it was a holiday....then again it was night time. A couple ppl said i wasnt doing too bad for the first time which is cool. Maybe someday i can catch up to all those lil kids who were just flyin by me. haha
I made it back home from John's friend's house in just a lil more than a 1/2 hr...which is very awesome considering how far out i was. See ppl...i CAN drive fast... :) When i got home the parentals seem all interested in the whole snowboarding thing (could be a good thing...could mean nothing). Hmm... now maybe a board would be nice...my dad owes me an xmas present!
So even tho i kinda bruised my butt and it was soo f'n cold it was so worth it. It was a totally rad way to end winter break....
current mood:  cold
current music: Eve 6- How Much Longer
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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
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2:18 am
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...plain n simple...two easy words...
...guys suck...
...yes, all of you...
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Dokken- Paris is Burning
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Sunday, December 26th, 2004
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10:48 pm
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...r.i.p. lil Audrey...
...even tho you weren't mine, you were still the cutest kitten ever...
...i'll miss the lil kitty sneezes, shoulder naps and snot bubbles... :'(
current mood: sad
current music: 311- Beyond te Gray Sky
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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
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2:48 am - ...just another typical rant...
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Back to my usual mopey self once again.... i hate being like this. The stupidest, most insignificant things will set it off and then there i am babbling about how "i'm doomed forever and my life sucks". Which well...it does and it doesnt... but yea...i'm annoyed at myself.
The freaky real dreams have come back again. I cant go into detail...they're just too weird....but worse now. I'll actually wake up shaking or crying.
I try to make it all go away....but then again i'm just constantly reminded of how i messed things up bigtime. Yaaay! Always good to know you prevented something possibly good.
I guess i just have an overall dismal outlook on this whole thing. I feel so lost and naieve....and i don't see the situation improving anytime in the near future... :\
If only it were still the 80's...hell...even the 70s.... def. born in the wrong generation...
...things would be so much easier....maybe...
current mood: depressed
current music: Pink Floyd- Echoes
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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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12:00 am
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And once again Jen has been sucked into a black hole were Livejournal didint exist. I almost forgot about this thing for like the 8745863486536th time. Oh well... been workin on lotsa school stuff/art stuff. Maybe, possibly, hopefully....i'll get this thing updated more than once a month!!
So basically...school is icky, i'm failing anthropology. I'm going , wait no make that already, broke. I'm doomed (well at lest for now i am). And guys suck hardcore...that's why i <3 cars. Vroom vroom
and on a final note....
let's all sing the doom song!! Doom doom doom doom doom do de do de do doom doom doom do de do de doooooo...
current mood:  thirsty
current music: Moody Blues- Nights In White Satin
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Thursday, October 28th, 2004
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1:12 am
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I MET TOMMY LEE!!!
<3
Have to say Kathy did a pretty good job of keeping me clueless until the very last second. I had NO idea whatsoever where i was going or what i was going to be doing....
Me: "Where are we going?"
Kathy: "Ridgewood...."
Me: "i'm still confused..."
Kathy "To a bookstore....now what usually goes on at a bookstore?"
Me: " Book signings?"
Kathy: "Yup...you're going to meet Tommy Lee!"
Me: ....::goes into shock and cant talk::
What an awesome surprise!!! Totally made up for the shittyness that went on around my birthday!!! So we stood outside for a while then zig zagged inside for forever. I had no idea what to say! When i meet famous ppl i dont spaz out on them...i just go into shock and cant form words. This time i was actually able to form sentences!! I think i said something about liking the star tattoos on his hands. Yay! Me and Kathy lucked out being one of the last few people able to take a picture too. I've always loved Tommy Lee....drummer, 80s rock star, hot, tattoos and all around rad person. And here i was standing INCHES away from him. So very happy. I spent the night hugging my autographed book. And then me and kathy watched him on tv.. :)
One more rockstar added to my list now! I'm doing pretty good considering half the ones i'd like to meet are dead! I'll have to wait a while to get to them. LoL
current mood: hungry
current music: Motley Crue- Kickstart My Heart
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Monday, October 18th, 2004
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1:03 am
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...i feel like my life is a fucking soap opera...
...all this shit talking needs to stop... now...
current mood: sad
current music: Aerosmith- Dream On
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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5:49 pm - ...one of those weekends...
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Ok so here's one of those "what i did this weekend" kinda posts...
I'm am still pissed at something that happened this past friday. And it's a pretty dumb thing to be pissed about too. But whatever... my only comment on that is that guys are shitheads....and i'm still f'd up in the head...
Saturday was pretty rad. I napped...and napped some more. Oh yes ...that was SO nice. Then i went with jess to a football game in the freezing cold. Ran into Tim at applebee's. Then we hung out. And now i love fireworks even more than before! We prlly woke up all the ppl who live behind Alexus steakhouse but who cares. :D
And today pretty much sucked. A lil note to anyone: DO NOT APPLY AT THE DISNEY STORE!! THEY'RE F'D UP!!. Ok so i realize when you get a job there's gonna be some standards that you're gonna have to meet. But damn... that disney store is nuts... no bracelets, not even a watch cause they dont want you "getting distracted by what time it is". Only one ring and it has to be a gemstone or gold/silver. Only one necklace...has to be very thin and gold or silver. No dyed hair or weird styles. No braids. No tattoos of any kind. No more than one earring per ear and it cant be any bigger than the size of a penny.No makeup that isnt a natural shade. No colored nailpolish that isnt a natural tone. No stud belts..only plain black with a silver buckle. No black denim pants...and they cant flare out and cover your shoes. And you have to get a certain kind of shoe....(which i dont remember what it is cause by this point i was pretty pissed)
Now all that is just f'd up. What's worse is that for most of that stuff i kept getting used as an example. Which is why after a while i just sat there silent and pulled my sleeves down as far as i could so my hands couldnt be seen.
And after that i had to go to a christening and be all happy happy joy joy. Just tons o fun. :p
...and so the job hunt continues...
current mood: pissed off
current music: Led Zeppelin- No Quarter
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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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2:30 pm - i just love quizzes...don't you? :)
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Oi Punk!
AKA Street punk, Crust punk, etc. You're the more
colorful of the punks, and maybe alittle dirty.
You're most likely most at home at a show, on
the streets, or on someones couch after a
party. Like the political punk, you're all
about the unity, and having a good time. Tho
some of the bastards in the scene give you a
bad name by being shitty to their fellow punk,
most oi punks are more friendly and fun to be
around.
What type of punk are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood: sleepy
current music: Billy Idol- Rebel Yell
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